Following instruction from our esteemed leader, I am moving this here:

If she won't have anything at all, I tend to offer something else. But I do go for something to replace the meal like bread and cheese. If she's had a go, then we move on to pudding. Then we wait until the next snack/meal.

She did refuse to eat any lunch the other week (stuff I knew she really likes) and then got out of her highchair, saw a museli bar and shouted for it. She didn't get it and was very cross (tantrums here we come).

I think my problem with it yesterday was that she didn't even put the damn things near her lips. Not a sniff, not an experimental lick. IzzyMouse tends to prefer most of her food cold or very nearly cold, so I usually leave things to cool, but even that didn't help.

I suppose it occured to me, while staring blankly at the fridge wondering what else to give her, that while we are trying to be baby-led, I know I still have quite definite ideas about what I'd like her to eat. And cutting straight to what I knew she would probably try felt like 'giving in'. Is this a hang-over attitude from the conventional way of doing things? And I wasn't very happy with her just having biscuits for tea. Although I doubt it's a big deal if it's just occasionally. Hmmm.

Hi, I'm new to the blog, but just wanted to add something. I have noticed the odd comment about people being worried that their babies are getting enough to eat when they are refusing food. Well my son Euan is 9 months old and has been falling down the grown curves since about 5 months. We have been seeing a paediatrician about it, and I point blank asked him if it was anything to do with the fact that he has always refused anything off a spoon, is very fussy about texture, and he spits out the vast majority of what he gets into his mouth.

He said, no.

He was more concerned that something else (like a gluten allergy) might be causing both the poor weight gain and the lack of appetite/avoidance of certain foods. If it were a simple fact that he wasn't getting enough calories from solids, he would be dramatically increasing his demand for milk - which he hasn't done.

So we can stop worrying and just let them eat if they are hungry and not eat much if they are not!

I really hope its not anything to do with gluten though, as those gluten free diets look a right pain - especially as he also has a cows milk intolerence.

Katy

I'm really interested to see replies on this one as the Pickle is just starting to really have tantrums over things (FCOL she's 11 months!!!!! what on earth are the terrible twos going to be like).

Heaven forbid if I don't have snacks ready at the *right* time...cue tantrum of the rolling around and burying head in hands type.

With reference to the refusing food.....I've tried offering a few more items that I know she likes and if that doesn't work I wait until the next snack/mealtime and offer a larger portion.

With regards to snacks - this may sound like an obvious question (and let's face it probably is...) what sort of a snack/mealtime timetable to you do? At the mo we do breakfast 8 am ish, lunch 12-12.30 pm ish, snack mid afternoon, evening meal at 5-5.30 pm ish. But after huge snack tantrum yesterday I'm wondering if that isn't enough?????

The other day she put away a whole hot cross bun (a lovely organic one full of sultanas which she liberated from the rest of the bun and ate separately) in the afternoon and then didn't really eat her meal later......

(Sorry think I may have added another poll type question)

aaargh!

Ah, vanillapickle, tantrums. I know it's a wee bit off-topic here, but I share your trepidation. IzzyMouse is throwing the most spectacular paddies - maybe they'll work it out of their system earlier [sceptical face follows]. But ours aren't usually about food, at least not yet. Do food tantrums look different to any other kind Pickle bestows on you? How do you tell what it is she's losing the plot about? And is it her *right* time or the one she's used to? Is this too many questions..?

Well, Mij from what I've managed to deduce so far (the tantrums have only started in the last couple of weeks), the food tantrums have tended to happen after a nap and the Pickle is absolutely inconsoleable (spelling??!!) and very theatrical until the *right* snack is produced and put in front of her. The other tantrums (which tend to be related to something she has found but isn't supposed to play with/somewhere she isn't supposed to be) are really short lived, not very dramatic and are usually sorted with a bit of distraction or a ridiculous rendition of the 'Big Red Bus' or 'Wind The Bobbin Up' (don't ask......sits, thinks about how one didn't know such songs pre-Pickle, remembers the Hed Kandi CDs that used to be the favourites, looks at the current CD selection of 'singalong' songs..........hhhhmmmm need to get out more).

rofl - for us it's 'bouncing up and down on a big red tractor' or the ubiquitous 'twinkle twinkle'. Wind the blooming bobbin isn't top of our pops cos IzzyMouse can't point yet!

I'll be trying snacks as a tantrum-calming measure in the next few days I think, particularly those that appear to have no cause. Think I may have been being a bit thick about that...

Had a similar experience with Xavier yesterday, he loves penne pasta ragu, but decided he did not want it - so I quickly cooked eggy bread nice and easy - have to admit i am of the opinion that I would rather he eat than not and if he is not in the mood for the pasta I would do something else that is quick and easy.

Maybe I am a soft touch, but I am sure this will change when he is bigger and starts throwing mega tantrums...

The rules in our house are:
3 strikes and you are out. You get three different tastes - bin them all and the meal is over.
Never will all 3 be fruit. (I usually offer 1 carbohydrate, 1 veg, 1 fruit).
I try to make sure that one of the 3 is from the firm favourites list - especially if there is a new foodstuff on the menu. Then if she bins that, I know she's not bovvered.

The exception to the rule:
If I think she's sickening or had very light meals for a while, I'll resort to the big guns and give the 3P's.

I try to be much more relaxed if she turns up her nose or justs has a few bites. I used to be convinced that she'd wake in the night or melt down in a public place but so far, she's been fine.

I like that approach Lin. I think it's sort of what I ended up doing anyway, but mainly cos I had an empty fridge and ran out of alternatives to offer! I have a '3 strikes' rule with BFing in public, particularly now IzzyMouse is behaving like a foal and taking 3 sucks before cantering around the place and returning to do the same, over and over again.

OK, so I realise that I'm probably dragging this out a bit now, but I've been thinking more about it cos IzzyMouse is being super-diva like about food and everything else at the moment. I think I'm fretting because BLW offers a vision of babies, then toddlers, then children, who will happily eat pretty much anything put in front of them and scoff family meals. Now, on a good day with my level head on, I can see that just ain't going to happen straight away, and not with every child, and of course toddlers are going to push the boundaries and, perhaps, only eat blue food for a week.

I don't worry about quantity (as she's a BFing 10 month old), but I do wonder if I'm somehow 'encouraging' her current pickiness by cutting to something I know she'll eat when she ditches what's on offer, or by just bringing more and more stuff out of the fridge until I hit on something she's interested in.

So someone please tell me that she won't turn into a child who'll only eat tomato and pitta bread for the rest of her life or insists on having the right to roam the fridge for every meal. Or, perhaps, to just get a grip...

hhhhm, i dunno. i really think that i always offer her something i reckon she'll be interested in and leave her to whinge about the rest. i'm thinking of a tuna salad the other day - i knew she'd eat the tuna and then not be up for the lettuce and toms and pepper and cucumer etc. but i thought she might have a bit of boiled egg (it was a vaguely nicoisey thing) and i knew she could have a banana later...
anyway, she surprised me by liking the cucumber for about the first time in six months, so she ate loads of that and some tuna for lunch, followed by a banana.
the rest went over the edge of the table. so in asnwer to your question i don't think i do continue to root about inside the fridge as she generally does have what i'm having, there or thereabouts. not sure where that leaves you, but la la la i'm a bit hammered so i need to go to bed. byee.

I've been having this kind of issue with Bebe. (BTW, you lot are great with advice. I've toned down the worry, and he surprised me by picking up chicken thighs, corn, and other stuff to eat). He is 13 1/2 mo old, and he has to be in the mood for food, otherwise he looks us in the eye, point blank, reaches his hand over the edge of his high chair and drops the offending item. And then, just in case we hadn't noticed he says "Gone!" The other day, we found that pieces that were too big got the gone treatment. Some days, he just doesn't seem to be in the mood to eat. He is still BFeeding (at night, mostly, sorry!! no end in sight for us), and we figure that as long as he is a happy and active little boy, he is ok. Of course, there are days (sometimes several in a row) when he will eat anything we put in front of him, and then roam around us, to get stuff off our plates. I keep hoping that we are doing the right thing for him.

Having said that, I like Lion's three strike rule... Maybe I should implement it... (soft touch that I am...)