... and lololol I get in from hospital this afternoon and can't access the forum. Poor old Tech, the server has exploded. I'm ever so sorry, hope it doesn't cause a mass exodus to FB in protest at our meagre resources.

So if you'd like the update...

Basically am 33+5 today, they've given me the steroids to help the baby's lungs so we are technically good to go for the C section whenever it becomes apparent that inside me is Not A Good Place any more. Obviously that's in doubt at the moment anyway as the wee one hasn't grown in two weeks, but there will come a tipping point over the next few days where something else will start to fail and the decision will be made. It feels unbelievably weird, to be honest, to have someone say to you that your womb is a hostile environment for your child. Weird and rather hurtful, isn't that bizarre? I mean for god's sake, if there's one place your child is supposed to be safe...

Anyway, it's all a bit scary. My stupid blood pressure has responded fairly well to the extra drugs, the heart traces of the baby are fine etc, so with the growth it may just be (fingers crossed) that her body is concentrating its efforts on growing organs and brain rather than piddling around with body fat. God, I hope so.

I went to see Special Care, it looked nice enough, y'know... there's a huge part of me that just wants this not to be happening, in fact I'd say that's mostly it for the moment... but it is happening so there we have it. I have to keep my BP down somehow (as you can imagine the builders upstairs are really helping with that) and just hope for the best that we can stay things for another wee while, if that's the best thing. I'm going back to hospital tomorrow for more checks, in best Big Brother style I've to pack my case in advance in case I'm evicted to the operating theatre. If not, I'll give you the update tomorrow.

Feels weird writing this personal stuff on the blog rather than the forum, I hope you get to see it. Thank you so much for the support that I Just Know I'm getting from you all, even if I can't see it right now. Thanks so much for the emails and the texts, and the messages on MN. I'm rather surprised at how much it means, actually. It means the world. Who knew?

Mwah. Am off to eat spaghetti alle vongole - play fast and loose with the seafood advice in pregnancy? Why not? It's not like I'm going to be in this condition much longer, is it?